Im currently at work at the moment, and I've just come back from my morning break. On my break i found out some news which brings me to my Blog's topic "unsure emotions" what happens when a situation arrises or you've been told some news you really don't know how you feel about... you know something is not sitting right inside but you just don't know what you are feeling or how you should be feeling!
Maybe its your head and your heart having a debate???
Your head is saying "don't worry about it its nothing important etc" and your heart is saying "ouch that hurt"
and your left feeling a little... empty?
My wonderful workmate just ask really good question "What kind of future do I foresee with this circumstance, what would I like to get out of it?"
Because this news had to do with my past... I guess to me, that part of my past is now complete and there is no need/ want to see it in my future... So after taking a deep breath absorbing how I felt in the moment... I know am at peace with the news and im now left feeling full of certainty once again... Thanks Troy :) your support through the year has certainly been appreciated... You rock xxoo
Today must be one of those days very spiritual kind of days... im very in tune with human thoughts and emotions its like I almost feel spirits around me... I know deep and a bit who do voodo but its true... i can feel something/someone is certainly very present and i believe it is more then 1... geesss I better behave :)
Until next time keep smiling... or laughing... or crying which ever it is you need to do :) xxx
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Monday, December 14, 2009
Emotions
Some may say we are run with emotions that incidently steers which way we steer this vogage of life... I am also one of these believers..
My outlook on life is positive always trying to be positive, in truth always trying to mask real emotion with a rose coloured glasses outlook... i do truley believe one has to face emotion.. if your angry show it.. if you sad cry, if your happy laugh (and please share it) and if your just not feeling like being around anyone go and find your quiet spot and just be with your thoughts... this to me is the only way to work through our sometimes hopeless emotions... we all deal with life's emotions differently.. i do also belive wholey and souly in my previous blogs but please let me add to it! The only way I got over my 3 -4 year realtionship which was meant to be complimented with a wedding just week and a bit ago was to feel & live through every emotion i felt... sad, frustrated, happy, self dought, imagin things were different and last but not least be proud of myself for putting up such a fight for a man i really did love... Fortunaly my boxing gloves are now retired in that relationship and now my emotion of finding my new found future it's dam exciting, scarey and extremely daughting... but i have my new gloves of life on and am going to fight until i cant fight no longer to be the best i can be, the strongest i can be and most of all just being me :) and looking forward to finding a new crew of friends/loved ones to enjoy my new vogage of life with me :)
My outlook on life is positive always trying to be positive, in truth always trying to mask real emotion with a rose coloured glasses outlook... i do truley believe one has to face emotion.. if your angry show it.. if you sad cry, if your happy laugh (and please share it) and if your just not feeling like being around anyone go and find your quiet spot and just be with your thoughts... this to me is the only way to work through our sometimes hopeless emotions... we all deal with life's emotions differently.. i do also belive wholey and souly in my previous blogs but please let me add to it! The only way I got over my 3 -4 year realtionship which was meant to be complimented with a wedding just week and a bit ago was to feel & live through every emotion i felt... sad, frustrated, happy, self dought, imagin things were different and last but not least be proud of myself for putting up such a fight for a man i really did love... Fortunaly my boxing gloves are now retired in that relationship and now my emotion of finding my new found future it's dam exciting, scarey and extremely daughting... but i have my new gloves of life on and am going to fight until i cant fight no longer to be the best i can be, the strongest i can be and most of all just being me :) and looking forward to finding a new crew of friends/loved ones to enjoy my new vogage of life with me :)
Saturday, December 12, 2009
The Living Dead
My question/thoughts are do we have to have a terminal illness in order to be dieing? Or are we simply choosing to lead a dead life regardless of our health? Let me explain.
Ok for those who have just been given a set time to live have just had the wind knocked out of their sails... and go through the process of every emotion god has given us to ever experience, mostly though those of which we never ever want to feel.. For some there comes a time of acceptance and positive attitude in order to carry out everything one wants to share and do before the second journey starts to heaven/afterlife (or where ever their belive is) therefore the last days, months years are always realistic that life is short and you have to live it with your eyes wide open taking in every single detail around you being grateful for everyday you wake up in the morning.
And some choose to stay in the depression stage literaly wasting valuable time really living and bringing the ones that will be left behind just as depressed.
Then you have the ones that have good health, good family, good job etc and choose just to want more and more out of life with the attitude of "When i buy/ get this Ill be happy"...or "when I achieve this that will make me happy" or "if I loose weight or bulk up then ill be happy" and the list continues.
But the whole time their focus is on the future and not the present... its like the old saying "today is a gift that is why it is called the present".
So for these people, they arent really living they are just exsisting which to me is a dead life...
Then you have thoes who want to stay in the past and never move on....
Ones that have had a shonky upbringing/ childhood and hate the world because of how they were treated and believe that everyone around them owes them something...so they are really living a dead life...
Instead of pulling their finger out of their backside and saying well that is my past's I want different for my future and my childrens future I should be thankful I have learnt what not to do....
You have people who everything is never good enough.. never ever appreciating what is put on that silver little platter of theirs... cause they have never ever had to work for a dam thing they have and believe that everyone else is below them... i bet they dont even know what a sunset feels like... yes i said feels... :) to me their life is dead.. with no purpose and no meaning...
Unfortunatly there is only a small minority of people that choose to live a life of love, laughter, inspiration & giving... only people who feel sunsets, wind on their face and other peoples happiness can truely say they are living... life is not a matter of health, possesions, wealth or other fundamental things, to me it is measured by priceless moment... "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away" (quote unknown source)...
My conclusion, choose to live the rest of our days regardless of health with an outlook and a realistic vision it could very well be our last... do things your afraid to do... go places you thought only exsisted in dreams.. Love like you cant loose... to me i would rather have regrets over something i did then something i was too afraid to do... cause it would be a regret of mine to say "what if"
Everyones Normal is different everyones "ok" is different.. personally for a recently single individual such as myself I have no idea what my new normal is or what my new ok is... but looking forward to finding out... my new focus on my life and its journey and how i can inspire others with the experience i have lived through...and do my darnest to make sure I dont live a dead life... so no more handbrakes or caution signs for me... 2010 im taking risks leaving the handbrakes and caution to the past... :) watch out world here i come... cause as life has it.. it could very well be my last year... I myself have been given a 75% chance of getting another deadly melanoma i may never find... if not then what a story i will have to tell about the last days :)
Who wants in?
Ok for those who have just been given a set time to live have just had the wind knocked out of their sails... and go through the process of every emotion god has given us to ever experience, mostly though those of which we never ever want to feel.. For some there comes a time of acceptance and positive attitude in order to carry out everything one wants to share and do before the second journey starts to heaven/afterlife (or where ever their belive is) therefore the last days, months years are always realistic that life is short and you have to live it with your eyes wide open taking in every single detail around you being grateful for everyday you wake up in the morning.
And some choose to stay in the depression stage literaly wasting valuable time really living and bringing the ones that will be left behind just as depressed.
Then you have the ones that have good health, good family, good job etc and choose just to want more and more out of life with the attitude of "When i buy/ get this Ill be happy"...or "when I achieve this that will make me happy" or "if I loose weight or bulk up then ill be happy" and the list continues.
But the whole time their focus is on the future and not the present... its like the old saying "today is a gift that is why it is called the present".
So for these people, they arent really living they are just exsisting which to me is a dead life...
Then you have thoes who want to stay in the past and never move on....
Ones that have had a shonky upbringing/ childhood and hate the world because of how they were treated and believe that everyone around them owes them something...so they are really living a dead life...
Instead of pulling their finger out of their backside and saying well that is my past's I want different for my future and my childrens future I should be thankful I have learnt what not to do....
You have people who everything is never good enough.. never ever appreciating what is put on that silver little platter of theirs... cause they have never ever had to work for a dam thing they have and believe that everyone else is below them... i bet they dont even know what a sunset feels like... yes i said feels... :) to me their life is dead.. with no purpose and no meaning...
Unfortunatly there is only a small minority of people that choose to live a life of love, laughter, inspiration & giving... only people who feel sunsets, wind on their face and other peoples happiness can truely say they are living... life is not a matter of health, possesions, wealth or other fundamental things, to me it is measured by priceless moment... "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away" (quote unknown source)...
My conclusion, choose to live the rest of our days regardless of health with an outlook and a realistic vision it could very well be our last... do things your afraid to do... go places you thought only exsisted in dreams.. Love like you cant loose... to me i would rather have regrets over something i did then something i was too afraid to do... cause it would be a regret of mine to say "what if"
Everyones Normal is different everyones "ok" is different.. personally for a recently single individual such as myself I have no idea what my new normal is or what my new ok is... but looking forward to finding out... my new focus on my life and its journey and how i can inspire others with the experience i have lived through...and do my darnest to make sure I dont live a dead life... so no more handbrakes or caution signs for me... 2010 im taking risks leaving the handbrakes and caution to the past... :) watch out world here i come... cause as life has it.. it could very well be my last year... I myself have been given a 75% chance of getting another deadly melanoma i may never find... if not then what a story i will have to tell about the last days :)
Who wants in?
Life is a destiny...and we are the captain...:)
Tonight I watched "Perfect Proposal" made me start thinking about lifes funny ways.
In brief: Two people work together.. One is the Boss who is a complete witch from hell.. the other "the assistant is fantastic guy and has it all going for him but gets treated like a piece of dog do do from his boss and takes it only because he wants a career.Out of the blue this offer comes his way from his boss , that is extremly unrealistic, unconvential and not to mention totally insane... he accepts it.
Despite going against his gut instinct... He willingly lies to all friends and family in order to get "that promotion" and meet his end of the deal.
Cutting a long story short this "totally insane, unrealistic and unconvential offer" is the best thing that could of ever happened to him and his now new fiance.
For us people that are used to taking the "Safe" road in life, maybe it is really doing us some damage maybe we are missing out on some really good times... and should I say it... we may even be missing out on our destiny.
I believe we have a big influence on our destiny... life throw's us curve balls, but its up to us to throw it back in a direction... but ultimatly its our choice which way we throw it...
So next time we get offered a totally insane offer think twice before you answer it... It may be an unanswered prayer just about to be answered...So take a risk :)
In brief: Two people work together.. One is the Boss who is a complete witch from hell.. the other "the assistant is fantastic guy and has it all going for him but gets treated like a piece of dog do do from his boss and takes it only because he wants a career.Out of the blue this offer comes his way from his boss , that is extremly unrealistic, unconvential and not to mention totally insane... he accepts it.
Despite going against his gut instinct... He willingly lies to all friends and family in order to get "that promotion" and meet his end of the deal.
Cutting a long story short this "totally insane, unrealistic and unconvential offer" is the best thing that could of ever happened to him and his now new fiance.
For us people that are used to taking the "Safe" road in life, maybe it is really doing us some damage maybe we are missing out on some really good times... and should I say it... we may even be missing out on our destiny.
I believe we have a big influence on our destiny... life throw's us curve balls, but its up to us to throw it back in a direction... but ultimatly its our choice which way we throw it...
So next time we get offered a totally insane offer think twice before you answer it... It may be an unanswered prayer just about to be answered...So take a risk :)
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